As women we don’t operate like men. We have different hormones, body parts, and ways of thinking, so doing everything like a man doesn’t serve us. We have different phases throughout the month, some meant to keep us focused and sharp, while others are meant to slow us down. I want show you ladies a different way of approaching wealth creation. I want to introduce soft discipline. I believe it is much more enjoyable to create a business when your doing it from a place of softness and ease. It does not have to be difficult. You will learn how to do just that in my article. 

Enjoy 🙂

What Is “Soft Discipline”

Soft discipline is a form of discipline that focuses on self-regulation instead of external rewards and punishments. Unlike that strict way of approaching harsh discipline, soft discipline encourages empathy, respect, and sustainable habit formation. 

Self-regulation and self-control are very different. For soft discipline it is very important to use self-regulation because it works with your body instead of against it. Self-control feels forceful and relies on willpower alone. Although sometimes you will absolutely need self-control, never using self-regulation just feels tiresome and leads to burnout.

Self-Regulation:

• Becoming aware of your behaviors and how they can help you reach your goals
• Managing and adapting to your thoughts, behaviors and emotions to reduce frequency and intensity of impulses
• Addresses underlying issues and stressors
• Makes self-control possible and reduces the need for it by addressing root causes
• Sustainable long-term
• Works with your nervous system

Self-Control (harsh discipline): 

• Inhibits strong impulses and manages immediate responses to situations
• Forces behavior through willpower
• May lead to ego depletion 
• Unsustainable

Research shows that children who were disciplined with gentle methods had higher self-esteem, better emotional regulation, and stronger relationships. This is very beneficial in adults as well. Gentle discipline supports long-term behavioral changes by teaching self-regulation skills and supporting internal motivation.  Softer approaches work because they match how our brains actually function. 

Cal Newport’s slow productivity philosophy is an approach to work that emphasizes intentional and sustainable methods for creating high-quality work without burnout. This philosophy is based off 3 important principles: do fewer things, work at a natural pace, and obsess over quality. Newport draws these principles from the most creative thinkers in history, like Galileo, Jane Austen, Isaac Newton, and Georgia O’Keefe. 

Why Women Burn Out Under Hustle Culture:

A woman’s work does not finish after she is done with her job. She often has to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. A study done in 2018 showed that mothers spend as much time caring for children as stay-at-home mothers did in 1975. Many women describe living in a low-grade panic, with nervous systems that never reset. This results in a nervous system that is consistently activated, where stress becomes the new homeostasis. 

This results in a constant fight-or-flight mode, and when you don’t get a break from that stress response, your body can’t activate its rest-and-digest response. Cortisol and adrenaline are not meant to linger in our bodies for long periods of time. It is important to take breaks from always being on the go since it is good for the brain, body, and nervous system. Constant stress, on the other hand, makes impulses worse, and it also makes it harder to regulate your emotions. 

Wealth Building Through a Feminine Lens

How Women Build Wealth Differently

Women approach money differently. We take fewer risks, think long-term, and are less ego-driven. An analysis done by Fidelity on 5 million customer accounts over a ten-year period showed that women outperformed men on investment returns by 40 basis points. Another study done by Warwick Business School of 2,800 investors showed that women’s returns were about 1.2% higher than men’s returns. This performance gap compounds over time, and if this pattern remains consistent over 30 years, the average woman will have a portfolio worth 25% more than a man. 

There are 3 behavioral differences women have, which include taking fewer risks, more consistent investing, long-term thinking, and less ego-driven decisions. 53% of women chose a safer investment approach, whereas only 39% took a more aggressive approach. For men it was exactly the opposite. A Warwick Business School study found that women only trade around 9 times a year, and men average about 13 times per year. Women take a more considerate approach to choosing their investments. Women are also 8% more likely to wait out market volatility than me. I’m not saying this to bash men; I’m just saying women have different ways of approaching wealth creation. 

How Do Women Lose Money? 

Women don’t lose money because they are bad with money but because of the unpaid caregiving. If we valued the work women do at home the same as other types of work, it would be worth nearly 11 trillion US dollars a year. Beyond caregiving, women also carry lots of ‘mental load.’ This is a result of the invisible work involved in managing a house and a family. This cognitive burden drains energy and focus from wealth-building activities. 

Even though women manage household budgets, pay bills, and make financial decisions daily, when it comes to long-term investing, investing, or negotiating salaries, we aren’t as confident. Women are less likely to be confident in their answers, even if their answers are correct, as was shown on financial literacy tests. It’s important to be confident. Don’t undervalue yourself, and have faith in your abilities. If women had as much confidence as men, we would be abundant not just monetarily but also in opportunities, respect, leverage, and options. 

Nervous System Regulation + Wealth

Our nervous system is one of the most important bodily functions, in my opinion. The polyvagal theory emphasizes the role the nervous system plays in regulating our health and behavior. 

There are 3 states of our nervous system:

1. Ventral Vagal (Social Engagement): When you feel safe and connected to others, you are open to social interaction.
2. Sympathetic (Fight or Flight): Mobilization to perceived threats
3. Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown): Body shuts down and you may feel numb or disconnected from surroundings

When your nervous system feels safe, your decisions are more thoughtful and aligned with your long-term goals. Responses from fight or flight, on the other hand, lead to impulsive choices driven by fear. Our brain and nervous system are constantly scanning for signs of safety or danger. 

Chronic stress shifts your brain from making goal-directed decisions to old habitual ones. Stress impairs your working memory and cognitive flexibility. These are the exact cognitive functions you need for strategic planning, problem-solving, and innovative thinking: all foundations of creating wealth. When stuck in flight or fight mode, you catastrophize, make impulsive decisions, and struggle with scarcity mindsets. This state of consciousness impacts anything from decision-making to the ability to take calculated risks in business. 

When Your Nervous System Is Regulated

When you learn how to relax and regulate your nervous system, you can access your prefrontal cortex, the brain function that is responsible for functions like planning, reasoning, and problem-solving. A study even showed that executives with a regulated nervous system made decisions that were 31% more profitable. 

The advantages that come from a regulated nervous system proliferate:

Better working memory = better financial planning

Improved cognitive flexibility = more innovative solutions

Balanced risk assessment = smart investments

Sustained focus = higher productivity

Emotional stability = stronger negotiations

Soft Habits → Wealth Results

 In order to create something that makes you financially secure, you don’t need the whole picture figured out. Taking the first step, no matter how small it is, is better than doing nothing and having decision paralysis. The first step could be writing out your target niche, creating a new email just for your dream business, or simply watching a video about what you want to start. It doesn’t matter; small intentional actions may feel tiny, but they move you towards your goal regardless. 

Take Jamie Clear’s research for his book, Atomic Habits, as proof. In his book he mentions that if you just improve 1% each day, you’ll be 37 times better by the year’s end. Habits function just like compound interest; they accumulate and eventually make significant changes. Every action you take should get you closer to the person you want to become. Every big thing you see today had to start off small. If people were scared to start small, nothing extraordinary would have ever happened in this world. 

Tips To Improve Each Day

1. If-Then Planning

If-then planning, or implementation intentions, are strategic plans that enhance goal achievement by specifying when, where, and how to act on a goal. Numerous studies show that the use of implementation intentions results in higher chances of goal achievement. Specifically by deciding now what goal-oriented action you want to take in response to a future event or cue. 

For example, if I finish my homework by 6, then I will take a break from screens and go take a shower instead. It’s that simple. 

Since all the elements of future behavior are preset (the where, when, and how), all your actions become automatic, and there is not much use for conscious intent. You have already set the intention. This remixes the daily decision fatigue that many women experience and makes sure you have set aside time to focus on your wealth-building activities. 

2. Habit Stacking: Pair New Habits With Old Ones

This technique is a great way to leverage our brain’s tendency to fall into predictable patterns. When you connect new positive habits with old existing behaviors, habit stacking makes it easier to cultivate new habits without the regular use of force or willpower. A study done in 2025 showed that habit stacking increased success rates by 64% compared to trying to develop new habits with no foundation. 

When doing this, use the formula: after [current habit], I will [new habit].

 Here are some examples: 

After I pour my morning coffee, I will review yesterday’s revenue

After I finish a client session, I will immediately send the invoice

After I close my laptop at 5pm, I will update my pricing strategy document

So basically all you have to do is identify a habit you have currently and then stack a new positive habit on top of it. This works so well because we are already familiar with old habits, so adding a new one is no problem. This soft discipline approach to building wealth is one that allows you to take advantage of the natural advantage you’re already familiar with. 

3. Celebrate Small Wins

While repetition and frequency do help create habits, we can’t forget about another fundamental aspect, emotion. The emotions behind the new behavior we are trying to develop or the goal we are trying to reach matter just as much. If you feel successful at a deep and authentic level, a new habit forms much faster. Positive emotions and experiences reinforce positive habits. In conclusion, don’t overrely on repetition or consistency and forget about your emotions. Your emotions play a big role in practicing soft discipline as well. 

The small win formula: Anchor moment → New Habit → Mini Celebration

Examples:

After I work out today (anchor), I will stretch (new habit), then I will fist pump (mini celebration)

After I wake up (anchor), I will breathe deeply 5 times (new habit), then I will smile and say I’m proud of myself (mini celebration). 

Making the habit small and nonintimidating lowers the amount of motivation needed to even follow through with developing the habit anyway. But this is where consistency and repetition are important; you have to keep celebrating and linking positive emotions with your new habits. Many women entrepreneurs beat themselves up for not doing enough, but that just makes you feel bad. Using guilt and shame to create habits does not work. What does work, though, is finding every excuse to see that you’re doing a good job so you could continue doing the new habit. 

Temptation Bundling: Make Difficult Tasks Enjoyable

Temptation bundling is when you link a pleasurable activity with a less enjoyable task to enhance motivation and productivity. This strategy leverages the brain’s reward system, which makes it easier to do activities that require lots of willpower. In a study done by Katy Milkman, it was found that people who utilized temptation bundling were 29% to 51% more likely to exercise. Temptation bundling addresses the tension we feel between what we need to do and what we actually want to do. 

In order to do this, start linking pleasurable activities with ones you avoid. 

Examples

Listen to your favorite podcast while cleaning up

Only get that special drink before working on your business

Watch the show you enjoy while doing something that doesn’t require much cognitive load.

Temptation bundling is a powerful technique that supports soft discipline and self-regulation perfectly. There is no force or stress. You’re just mixing a boring task with an enjoyable one. Women entrepreneurs often struggle with the boring parts of building wealth, like bookkeeping, admin, and follow-ups. Using the instant gratification of something alluring with something that provides delayed gratification is like fitting two puzzle pieces together. 

5. Time Blocking: Give Every Minute A Job

Time blocking is a practice that involves scheduling specific blocks of time throughout the day to do certain tasks. Instead of just creating an indefinite to-do list, assign each task on your to-do list a time. This technique helps to create clarity and structure. Deciding which task should get done at what time before your day starts gets rid of any decision fatigue from having to choose one task from your to-do list throughout your day. 

People who use time blocking do twice as much work per week compared to those who just pick their tasks randomly all day. This is because there is a clearer separation between work and non-work time, which significantly reduces professional stress and anxiety. Decreasing stress around your wealth building activity is key for developing soft discipline.

Create time blocks for

• Deep work 
• Simpler work
• Time for the unexpected
• Rest (NEED for nervous system regulation) 

Take 10 minutes out of your morning to write your to-do list and also include the optimal times to get those things done. This protects your deep work sessions from constant energy-consuming interruptions that drain your earning capacity. 

6. The Two-Minute Rule: Clear Mental Clutter Immediately

The two-minute rule is a simple technique that states that if a task can be done in 2 minutes or less, do it immediately. This gets rid of mental clutter, which creates space for new ideas and creates momentum for the activities that actually help you create wealth. The two-minute rule is so effective because of its ability to provide quick wins. When you complete something productive quickly, a sense of accomplishment forms, which in turn boosts motivation and creates a positive feedback loop. This is exactly what soft discipline stems from.

When you see tasks, ask yourself, “Can I do this in 2 minutes?” 

If it’s a yes, do it immediately.

• Reply to the email
• Send that invoice
• Tidy up your desk
• Put those clothes away

If it’s a no → Create a time block for it

It does not matter how small a task is; if it is left incomplete, it eats up all your mental space. By addressing small tasks as soon as possible, you prevent this from happening, and your mental space can be used for something significant. Women carry lots of mental load, so getting rid of unnecessary stress wherever possible is extremely beneficial. It’s more than just getting the tasks over with; you also don’t have to look, think, or stress about it ever again. 

The Compounding Effect

When you combine these 6 techniques and really implement them wherever possible, over time your life will only get better. Just imagine what would happen to your life if you implemented soft discipline instead of forceful, harsh discipline. Don’t just think of your end goal; think of getting up each day excited to work on that new project instead of dreading it. Imagine having such a clear mind that your life just feels peaceful. Using these 6 strategies you create a system where

1. Implementation Intentions automate your wealth-creating behaviors
2. Habit Stacking makes those behaviors effortless
3. Tiny Habits keep you motivated by celebrating
4. Temptation Bundling makes tasks enjoyable
5. Time Blocking guards your deep work time
6. The Two-Minute Rule clears mental clutter

If you enjoyed this article on embracing soft discipline, please sign up for my newsletter. Come back soon!! xxoxo