I know women whose whole lives revolve around men. They want to go places just because men are there, they wear certain outfits just because men like them, or they feel incomplete or sad when they don’t get male attention. If this is you, I’m not judging you. I used to be this way as well, but my life changed when I started directing my energy into the right places — into my business, which helps so many women.
As a woman, you have this beautiful life-force energy that you could be using to create the life of your dreams, but I’m afraid many women use that life-source energy to fantasize or obsess over a random man. Imagine if you put all that energy into yourself, your dreams, your hobbies, your passions. You would feel so complete and whole. I’m especially talking to my entrepreneur ladies out there — your whole life is about creating. You could be creating anything. Why create fantasies about a man?
This article is not anti-man in any way. I don’t believe all men are trash or that they’re evil human beings. There are great men out there. I just felt called to talk about this problem many women have of directing their energy into another person instead of themselves.
Book Recommendations
The Mountain Is You — Brianna Wiest
Some Signs You’re Pouring Too Much Energy Into The External
I just want to give you some signs that you may be putting too much energy into things outside of you. These are just a few — you often know intuitively if you’re energetically neglecting yourself. It looks a bit different for everyone.
- Happiness feels conditional
- You feel like you’re in survival mode
- Constantly doomscrolling
- Always scanning the room for who’s staring at you
- Obsessing over others’ social media accounts
- Start taking things too personally
- You can’t focus on one task for too long
- Get a sense of emptiness when no guy likes you or gives you attention
- Romantic relationships feel like the most important thing
- You feel like you’re not creative
- Always in your head
- You overthink situations or the future too much
The Importance Of Directing Your Attention And Energy Into Yourself And Your Business
All women have been obsessed with some random guy they were infatuated with and started creating scenarios about his potential. You probably got distracted by fantasies or constantly checked his social media. Those things drain your energy, and you end up having none left to work on your business.
I want you to think of a time you did this, and then imagine what your life would be like — or what you could do — with that same creativity, time, and attention you were giving to that man.
That is the beauty of directing your attention fully into yourself. Here are some benefits of directing your attention into you and your business instead of a man:
- Become less dependent on male attention
- You become more present and aware
- At the end of the day you feel more fulfilled
- Happiness finally comes from the inside, not external circumstances
- Your work starts to have more quality
- Creativity starts to pour out of you
- You’re not scared of losing anyone except yourself
- Subconsciously, you stop competing with other women
- Confidence starts to skyrocket
- Your business grows exponentially
- You start to see opportunities everywhere
How To Pour All Your Energy Into Your Business Instead Of A Man
Stop Placing Your Worth On How You Look
This is a big one for many women. No one in the world could doubt how much beauty, and the idealism of it, affects a woman’s life. Whenever I feel like I start placing too much importance on the way I look, I remember how God loves me. I remember how God created me in a way that will attract all that’s meant for me. Remember, you are you for a reason.
When you turn your energy away from your appearance, you’ll start to see how much energy and potential you really have. Also, don’t compare yourself to other women, please. Whenever you feel the urge to, go do something difficult you’ve been procrastinating on. Trust me — it works so well.
Journal Prompts To Stop Placing Your Worth On Your Looks:
- Where did I first learn that looks define who I am?
- Who or what in my life makes me focus too heavily on my appearance?
- What would life feel like if all my validation and worth came from within?
Whenever You Feel The Urge To Fantasize About A Man, Write Business Ideas Instead
That same excited, giddy feeling you have when you fantasize about a man’s potential in your life is the same feeling you could use to create ideas for your business. That is your life-force energy. Use it to grow your business and better serve your clients. It’s fine to have a crush, just don’t let it consume you. You’re too good for that.
The wealthy, successful version of you wouldn’t spend her time on random fantasies about men who don’t pour into her. So why should you? Live in the end. Live in the emotional state you dream of being in once you achieve everything you’ve ever wanted.
Journal Prompts For Redirecting Energy From Fantasy To Business Ideas:
- What could I create that I wish existed today?
- What do I avoid working on in my business?
- How could I improve in my business?
Start Writing Love Letters To Yourself
I love doing this. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside whenever I do it. Every night before bed, I write a love letter to myself. I thank myself for everything I did that day — for taking care of my body, working out, staying present, and all the good things.
Something about this reminds you that you can give yourself the love you’ve always dreamed of — and that you honestly don’t need anyone else to do it for you. Writing love letters to yourself also makes it easier to deeply focus on yourself later in your journey.
Journal Prompts For Writing A Love Letter To Yourself:
- What do I look for in relationships, and how could I give that to myself?
- What have I never heard that I’ve always wanted to hear?
- Why do I feel unfulfilled, and what could I say or give to myself that would make me feel whole?
Be As Present In The Moment As Possible
All your energy should go toward the present moment. Being present prevents you from pouring your energy into external sources that don’t serve you. All you ever really have is now, so why go to the past or the future? Stop putting your energy into fretting over problems that don’t exist — or may never exist.
That is the beauty of the present moment. When you learn to be fully present, all your energy is here. You’re not overthinking the past or the future. The present is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.
Journal Prompts For Staying Present:
- What takes me away from the present moment, and how could I prevent that?
- What fear or limiting belief prevents me from being present?
- What three things calm me down and center me?
Go Outside And See How Big This World Really Is
I’ve always loved astronomy, partly because it reminds me how big this universe really is. It helps me see how those little, unnecessary things I put my energy into aren’t worth it. When I was super fixated on relationships, I would look at my astronomy books, see the stars and planets, and feel almost silly (in a good way) for stressing over small things.
Astronomy reminds me how expansive this world is. For you, it might be something else. But once you find that thing that makes you feel awe and perspective, use it to regulate yourself and stop spiraling.
Journal Prompts For Perspective:
- What has given me a feeling of awe?
- What natural scenery have I always felt called to?
- What has reminded me in the past that my problems aren’t as serious as they feel?
Start Learning All You Can
It’s time to put your energy into learning. Learning is fun, but we associate it with school, which takes the joy out of it. Let’s put the fun back into learning. Find something you’ve always felt passionate about. It doesn’t have to relate to your business. Start getting books, watching videos, and listening to podcasts about it.
Whenever you feel the urge to pour energy into people or things outside of yourself, go learn something. It’s all about delayed gratification — do the hard things now so you feel great later. When you learn new things, your brain and your business will thank you.
Journal Prompts For Learning:
- What is something I’ve always felt called to learn more about?
- Is there a hobby or skill I’ve been putting off that I want to develop?
- What resources around me could help me learn something new?
Remember Why You Started Your Business
To stay motivated while learning to pour your energy into yourself instead of a man, you need a reminder. For this, I recommend having a clear reason why you started your business.
For example, I started mine to help women entrepreneurs and give them the support they need.
If you started your business “just because,” start incorporating meaning into it now. You have the creativity and energy to bring purpose into your work however you want.
Journal Prompts For Finding Meaning:
- What problem has always bothered me?
- What do I struggle with that others might need help with too?
Conclusion
When you start pouring your energy into yourself, you begin to see your own potential — and sometimes that can even feel scary. You realize all the amazing things you’re capable of. That’s what I want for my readers. I want them to feel expansive because they’ve learned to put their energy fully into themselves.
Thank you so much for reading. Come back soon!! xoxo
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